Posted: 17 Sep 2006 05:04 PM
::: 0 Comments
::: permaLink
THIS MESSAGE IS OF THE HIGHEST IMPORTANCE.
As you lounge at home, or in your comfy ergonomic cubicle-womb, I hope you will take a moment of quiet contemplation to remember those nobly-dressed scoundrels who, in the name of avaricious self-advancement, carved their very countenances on the face of history... who forever set the standard for any rag-tag, adventurous, smelly band of swashbucklers that would seek to call themselves Pirates!
The O.G. Scurvy Dogs... The men who proved that you could stand on the high mast of schooner in a purple silk tunic and STILL intimidate people! The men who proved that beardliness IS more important than oral hygeine... these are the true poseidons, the real Gods of the Sea.
And in my opinion, men like Blackbeard put the two-bit, misguided, whacky Somali pirates of today to shame. STYLE COUNTS in the pirate universe, and that is why a bunch of angry young AK-wielding whackjobs in a motorboat just don't cut the mustard.
Don't forget: National Talk-like-a-Pirate Day is Tuesday, 19 September. ARRRR!